Why do my parents say they want me to lead but won't let me actually do it?

Letting the next generation actually lead requires accepting three things at once. They might do it differently than you would. They might fail. And if they fail, that's how they learn. Most founders only intellectually accept all three. In practice they intervene to prevent failure, then frame the intervention as guidance. Kris Kluver writes about Ben Christoff's daughter Sophie naming this directly. Her father wanted her to lead but didn't want to let go. He wanted her to grow but didn't want her to fail. He wanted her to have a voice but only if she used it to say what he would have said. Most heirs eventually have to surface this contradiction with their parents directly.