Why do family transitions blow up emotionally even when everyone has good intentions?

Three structural reasons make generational transitions emotionally explosive even with good intentions. Kris Kluver lays them out directly in The Dysfunctional Family Office. First, the founder built their identity on work. The kids built theirs on relationships. Those two identities clash without anyone trying to clash. Second, the founder usually believes giving the kids more will protect them. The kids usually believe earning and learning more will define them. Both are correct. They produce opposite behavior. Third, founders assume the next generation knows their intentions. The kids are usually guessing, and everyone is a crappy psychic. Three different misalignments compounding at the same time. Good intentions don't bridge any of them. Only explicit conversations do.