Why do designated heirs end up resenting the founders they're succeeding?

Because they were asked to uphold standards the founder never modeled. Kris Kluver, in The Dysfunctional Family Office, calls this pairing Do As I Say Not As I Do plus The Heir Apparent, which produces Resentful Succession. The designated heir watches the founder ignore the founder's own rules. Then is told to uphold standards the founder never demonstrated. Obedience without respect. Transition without trust. The pattern is one of the most damaging in UHNW families because the heir absorbs both the role and the resentment at the same time. They take over the company while privately questioning whether the founder's framework deserves to continue. The role gets filled. The trust required to make it work doesn't get built. The fix requires the founder to do the alignment work. Either close the gap between rules and behavior, or acknowledge the gap honestly with the heir. The heir then needs space to choose which standards they'll actually carry forward. Some they will. Some they won't. Kris Kluver works with founders on this exact alignment at thethirtyadvisors.com.