How do I tell my kids what I want for them without it sounding like demands?

Write what you want for them, not from them. The phrasing is the entire difference. Kris Kluver, in The Dysfunctional Family Office, watches Joanne Mitchell write a Letter of Wishes that opens with this exact framing. She wants her children to be happy. Empowered, capable, and not carried. Close to each other and to her and Robert. Wealth as a tool, not an identity. Proud of them for who they are, not what they run. None of this lands as a demand because none of it is a demand. It's a hope, made explicit, that the kids can read and respond to. Most founders mean this when they think about their kids and almost never write it down. The Letter of Wishes is the place to put it.