By protecting my kids from struggle did I take away the thing that made me strong?

Probably yes. The struggle that formed you is often what shaped your grit, joy, and resilience. Kris Kluver, in The Dysfunctional Family Office, has Joanne and Robert Mitchell admit this together. They worked so hard to spare the kids from the struggle they had endured that they may have robbed the kids of what made the parents who they are. The cookie tour days, the split grilled cheese for dinner, the dress-trading with friends, all the moments that bonded Robert and Joanne in the lean years, were absent from the kids' lives by design. The kids got safety. They didn't get the formative pressure. The fix isn't to manufacture struggle. It's to stop removing every obstacle and let your kids build their own.